4 Comments
User's avatar
Barry Surratt's avatar

Thx Clint! I’ve spent the last 14 years attempting to learn AND practice this discipline of listening in chaplaincy. it’s also an art but if you say ‘the art of listening’ it sounds easy - but I’ve learned it’s not. Now more than often, I catch myself wanting to talk instead of really listening. We call it active listening or reflective listening - but whatever you call it, call it difficult. However I have discovered that if I really listen, people while share their amazing ups and downs in life.

Expand full comment
Clint Morey's avatar

Excellent insight, Barry. I know it's a skill you have used for years and I know it made a difference for those you've ministered to. I used to think I had to learn how to tell good stories or great jokes, but I've found the most important skill in relating to others was learning how to listen. You're right, it has to be practiced. Like you, I've often found myself wanting to talk instead of listening.

Expand full comment
Barry Surratt's avatar

Agreed! The next hardest skill to master is asking the ‘right’ questions that assists the person to open up and go deeper. It’s easy to play 20 questions and pepper people with curiosity but I find it rewarding to find the right question(s) for the moment. As my CPE supervisor used to remind us, ‘don’t just say something - sit there’… (and listen).

Expand full comment
Clint Morey's avatar

Absolutely. It's so important and yet in today's world we spend hours in front of a screen (phone, tablet, computer, TV, etc.) never learning how to ask those right questions. We need to see peoples' reactions and hear their tone of voice to even have a hope of seeing if our questions are appropriate. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and re-design the K-12 curriculum to teach the important things. And learning the skill of listening and asking the right questions are some of those important things.

Expand full comment