My Brother and I Were Raised by My Grandmother
She was an incredible blessing to both of us. She wasn’t rich—in fact, she was very poor. I can remember a few times when she served us dinner and claimed she wasn’t hungry.
Much later, after I had become an adult, I learned the truth: she didn’t skip dinner because she wasn’t hungry; she did it because there wasn’t enough food to feed the three of us. Grandma made sure that my brother and I were fed, even if it meant going without herself.
I also remember one Halloween. I had a great night collecting a bag full of candy and treats from the neighbors. It was a great feeling until … the next day my grandmother took me aside to talk with me.
One of the neighbors on our block told Grandma that I had not said “Thank you” the night before when she gave me candy.
Grandma explained the importance of thanking people and sent me down the block to speak to the neighbor.
I went up to the house, knocked on the door, and when the woman opened the door, I sincerely thanked her for the treats she had given me the previous night.
As I walked home, I felt good. I was glad Grandma had me talk to her. It was the right thing to do. And I’ve remembered that lesson ever since.
Like I said, Grandma was a very special person.
The Man Who Liked My Grandma
There was a man named Mac who was very interested in my grandmother. He wanted to see her and spend time with her. But my grandmother was busy taking care of my brother and me.
Mac persisted, but my grandmother made it clear that if he wanted to spend time with her, it would only happen if he took all of us to an activity or event.
The result?
Well, Mac saw her a lot, and my brother and I got to visit all kinds of places.
Even though we were poor, my brother and I regularly went to places like Disneyland, Knott’s Berry Farm, Corriganville, and Pacific Ocean Park. I’m sure we visited more of these places than most well-to-do kids whose parents had plenty of money.
My Grandma Did What?
It was great for my brother and me, but I never understood what Mac and my grandma did during those trips.
Let me give you a glimpse of how it worked.
We’d arrive at our destination—say Disneyland—and my brother and I were given a time to meet for lunch. Then we’d go off on our own and have a ball. We’d meet Grandma and Mac for lunch and then get another time to meet up before heading home.
My brother and I had a great time, but I always wondered what my grandma and Mac did while we were having fun. They didn’t go on rides, visit Tom Sawyer Island, or take a ride on the Matterhorn.
Finally, I asked her.
Grandma said she and Mac would find a bench to sit on and watch people.
Watch people?
How could they spend all day watching people? We were at Disneyland! You don’t watch people at Disneyland—you play!
Fast Forward a Few Decades
Okay, maybe add a few more decades while you’re at it.
Because here’s the deal.
Now when I’m in crowded places — conventions, malls, walks on a busy street — I find I am fascinated by the people I see.
I can’t help it.
Like my grandmother, I have become a people watcher.
Now there are a number of things I do as I am people watching.
Making Up Stories
A lot of times when I see individuals or groups, I make up stories about them.
I try to notice what they are focused on and how they interact with the people around them, and then … I can’t help it … I create a backstory about their lives. What brought them to this place at this time? What challenges are they facing? What joys?
I try to make the stories interesting to me.
Perhaps it’s because I write a lot — novels, screenplays, short stories.
I’m a storyteller and love creating stories, even though I know the stories about the people I’m watching aren’t true. But I have to admit some of the stories I make up are pretty good.
They Look Like …
Another thing I like to do when I’m people watching is to identify families. I look common features among them. A daughter who looks exactly like her mother. Same body shape. Same facial expression. Same walk. A son who has the same walk as his dad.
A couple of times I’ve even seen three generations — grandma, mom, and granddaughter — walking together and, except for the ages, they looked identical.
I find it fascinating.
The Hand Holders
And then, there are the hand holders.
When I spot couples strolling by, I can't help but play a little game with myself—trying to decode the silent messages of their body language. Are they truly into each other, or just going through the motions?
Some pairs walk side by side like they’re stuck in a business meeting, while others seem to float in their own little bubble of affection.
But my favorite are the hand holders. There’s something about that simple gesture that speaks volumes.
The way they hold hands can tell a story all on its own. There are those who clasp tightly, as if the world might pull them apart if they let go. There are those whose light, easy grips suggest a comfort in simply being together.
I’ve seen the ones who intertwine their fingers, almost possessive, like they’re saying, “This is mine.” And then there are those who just barely touch, fingertips brushing, as if testing the waters of their connection.
It’s a fascinating dance to watch, this silent communication.
Sometimes, I find myself guessing who’s more into whom, who’s holding on tighter, who’s leading and who’s following.
It’s a fun little game, but I know it’s just a glimpse.
Love is more than just a hand to hold—it’s a story written in a thousand different ways.
Are They Happy or Sad?
Another thing I look for when observing those around me is trying to identify happy people. A smile is a great indicator, but it’s not the only one.
A person’s eyes, their facial expressions, even their walk sometimes convey a genuine appearance of contentment or joy.
A happy person is a delight to watch.
But one of the things I’ve noticed in my people watching career is that most people do not appear happy.
Some appear sad or depressed or worried or even angry.
When you see those people — and you will see a lot of them — don’t condemn them. Don’t look down on them. Pray for them. Pray that they will know the God who loves them and cares for them.
And if God gives you the opportunity to interact with some of those people, make it your goal to make a difference in their lives.
I’ll give you an example.
When I am in a long line waiting to check out of a store and I notice the clerk is not happy, or is upset, or seems harried, my goal in the moment changes. I no longer focus on seeing if she is going make an error on my order. Instead, I make it my goal to get her to smile. To engage in a friendly conversation. To let her know I appreciate the job she is doing.
As the Lord gives you opportunities, I encourage you to shine brightly for Him.
"In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."
Matthew 5:16 (ESV)
Before I go, I’d like to share a blessing with you from the Old Testament.
“May the Lord bless and protect you; may the Lord’s face radiate with joy because of you; may he be gracious to you, show you his favor, and give you his peace.”
Numbers 6:24-26 (The Living Bible)
Until next time … be the reason someone smiles today
Lessons from My Grandma