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Tips from God.
Episode 3: “Quick to Listen”
Today, we want to look at another tip God has given us for how to live life well.
In the book of James, it says …
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,”
James 1:19 (NIV)
This single verse hits on three topics — listening, speaking, and anger — but we will just focus on one of those topics in this episode.
Quick to Hear
We’ll start with the first one.
The Bible says, “let every person be quick to hear.”
I don’t know if you’ve ever had this experience — you start to share a story about something you’ve done like going to the beach, or going fishing, or whatever.
Before you even finish your story, however, the person you’re talking to starts sharing a story of their own. It may be similar to what you were trying to talk about or it may be totally different, but you don’t get to finish your story because they’re not listening any more.
They are talking, telling their story.
How do you feel?
If you’re like me, you might feel that the person you’re talking to doesn’t really care about what you want to share. In fact, you may feel they don’t even care about you. They just want to talk about themselves.
I’ve even been in groups where someone started to share a story, but they were interrupted by another person in the group who wanted to share their own story, and that person was interrupted by yet another person in the group who wanted to share their story.
And that person … Well, I think you get the idea.
Everyone wanted to share something … about themselves … but no one wanted to listen to someone else.
Are you quick to listen?
I want to encourage you right now not to focus on others. This teaching from God isn’t about identifying those “other people” who aren’t living their lives well.
This teaching is for you.
You don’t have to improve your storytelling techniques in order to keep others interested. You don’t have to engage in thrilling adventures that will keep listeners on the edge of their seats.
It’s so much easier than that.
You just have to be quick to listen.
When someone starts to tell you a story about something they did, do you feel the “need” to jump in and share your story about the topic? Stop! Don’t do it. Instead, listen to what they say and show a genuine interest in what they are talking about.
Are you willing to NOT share your story at all?
Ask questions about their story that would give you a better understanding of what they want to share?
Most of us want to be listened to. We want to interact with people who care about what we think and what we do.
I read a quote recently that I think describes this human condition quite well …
"Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer."
Ed Cunningham
If you remember the first episode of this series, two foundational truths were presented — love God and love others.
Being “quick to listen” is one way to love others.
But it’s also a tool that can be misused.
Salesmen
Many salesmen understand this need that people have. They pretend to listen to you, not because they care about you but because it will make you think they care about you and that will help them close the sale.
Don’t become that type of person.
Don’t pretend to listen.
Don’t pretend to care.
Actually care about the person you are interacting with and listen to what that person says.
The Bible says …
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Phillippians 2:4 (ESV)
Listening takes time but it’s time well spent and much appreciated.
When you ask how someone is, listen to their answer. “Okay” or “Fine” doesn’t really tell you much. Ask more questions if needed. Be interested enough to find out more.
If someone shares a story with you, don’t interrupt with your story. Listen to them and ask questions. Take an interest in them.
A One Act Play
I read a one act play once — this was back in the day when I was considering acting as a career — and the play had an interesting premise. It tried to show that we don’t really listen to one another.
There were several characters in the play and they were always talking about something but it was obvious to the audience that none of the characters were listening to the other characters.
It was a depressing play.
Unfortunately it was an accurate representation of how many of us interact with one another today.
Your Choice
Over the next week, I encourage you to choose to truly care about the people you interact with.
Ask the Lord to give you opportunities to be “quick to listen” to the people you come into contact with each day.
Don’t be content to “understand” that being quick to listen is something God wants people to do.
You … not other people … you need to commit to being quick to listen.
Before I go I’d like to share a blessing with you from the Old Testament.
“May the Lord bless and protect you; may the Lord’s face radiate with joy because of you; may he be gracious to you, show you his favor, and give you his peace.”
Numbers 6:24-26 (The Living Bible)
Until next time … be the reason someone smiles today!
Clint
TIPS "Quick to Listen"